PJ (00:04.444)
Welcome back to the Life Beyond the Hustle podcast. As always, I'm so happy that you're here and I'm really excited about today's episode because we're gonna talk about tactical steps to take you closer to living a life that you love. And there are going to be many different steps that we discuss, but I'm gonna break it up into a few episodes so that I'm not, you know, kind of dumping all this information on you at once. So the first thing we're gonna talk about in today's episode are some mindset shifts that really need to happen.

and some things that maybe you've previously held as true that you might want to question and you might want to say that is that actually something that you believe in something that you hold to be true? So it's going to be kind of step one of these steps that'll take you closer to living a life that you love. So this episode is going to be for you. If you know that something needs to change in your life, but you're not really sure what it is, it's for you. If everything looks good on paper, if someone else was looking at your life, they'd be like, wow, you live the dream life.

but you're still feeling really unfulfilled and maybe you're feeling guilty for feeling unfulfilled. And this episode is for you if you feel like you're quote, doing everything right unquote, and you still feel like something is missing. So this podcast is all about coming along my journey. So this is never gonna be a look at me, I have everything figured out because we are figuring things out together. And so we're on this journey together. And my personal journey is going from being this.

recovering workaholics, someone who was actually pretty proud of saying that, I'm a workaholic. I spent all my time working, you know, to work. I'm going from that mindset and to continuously working on not tying my identity and my self -worth to my professional success. And I know I have a ways to go before I truly live life beyond the hustle, but I have made a significant amount of progress. And sometimes that's really important to sometimes both of us need to look at the progress we've made and be really proud of ourselves, because of course you can.

there's always further to go, but it's really important sometimes to recognize how far we've come. So when I think about that, I'm pretty proud and I'm happy with where I am now and my relationship to my professional success and just how I'm living out my life. So I'm being so much more intentional. And that is a word that we're going to talk about a lot on this podcast about being intentional about how we spend our time, both our personal time and our professional time. So.

PJ (02:24.06)
The time that I spend on this podcast, on my travel blog and on the dinner series I'm hosting, if you're an entrepreneur, you can a hundred percent relate to this, but there is always something to get done. And as entrepreneurs, sometimes we have this bad habit of making everything feel like it's a top priority or you know, it's, it's a fire that we need to be put out. And there's always something because as entrepreneurs, we get really excited. We have all these ideas like flowing through our brain. So we always are trying to work on a million things at once. So.

I am being so, so, so intentional about how I spend my time on everything I'm working on because I recognize the importance of wanting to spend less time in my career, less time in working on building out this business and more time on just living a whole fulfilled, well -rounded life. Does that make sense? So it's really important to be intentional about what moves the needle for us, both...

professionally and personally, what's gonna take us one step closer to the life that we wanna live, what's gonna take us one step closer to that joy and what is going to bring us joy. So do I get this perfect every time? Of course not. But it's really just such a night and day difference from where I was. And I wanna talk about where I was a little bit, and then we'll get into some of these mindset shifts because I think you're gonna resonate with this. Maybe it's where you are right now, maybe it's where you were just a few months ago.

but I'm sure everyone listening to this has been at this place at some point or another. And so for me, I felt like my entire life, I was constantly chasing the accolades and the professional success. I mean, we could really dive into this, but I'll spare you the whole story. But I always have felt that my self -worth was a hundred percent tied to what I did for a living and how successful, and I'm putting that in quotes. I actually did the quotes with my fingers, but you can't see them. So, so I always thought it was tied to like how successful I quote unquote was.

And you know, and that's a whole nother topic too, right? Like what does success actually mean? I've talked about it a little bit on this podcast, but whose, whose definition of success was I really living? Because I don't think it was mine. And so what happened was the line started to blur between, is this actually what I want? Or is this what society has told me what I want? Maybe what my family has told me what I want. What my friends have told me what I want. Am I really looking around and saying, okay, the next steps are being dictated about.

PJ (04:42.204)
because that's what everyone else is doing? Or was I taking these steps for me? Am I climbing the corporate ladder for myself? Am I building this business in the way that I want to? And is it being built in a way that's sustainable for me? And that ended up being a really important question to ask myself because the answers weren't coming clearly to me. I wasn't sure, you know, when I looked back on this, even now looking back, it's still a little confusing. I...

I'm like, was that for me or was that for everyone else? I mean, now with a little bit more clarity, I do think a lot of it was dictated by society, by family, by my peer group, but this is really important. So if you're feeling that way too, where you're looking at how you have been in your professional career or how you've been in your life even, if you feel like some of the things that you've been doing are because of other people,

then this is gonna be a really important podcast episode for you. So that's where I was. And now like I mentioned, I'm being much more intentional about how I spend my time and much more intentional about how I build out the business and how I build it in a way that can support the life that I wanna live. So you might be thinking to yourself, why are you listening to this? Like, of course I wanna live a life, I'm obsessed with Priyanka, but I'm scared to do something different.

I don't know what I want my life to look like. What are people gonna think if I do something, you know, completely different, or maybe if I step out of this job that is so great on paper and is a job that everyone else wants, but maybe isn't one that I feel fulfilled in, or you might even be thinking, I don't know where to start. And so I get that. I think all of these are really important questions that might be bubbling up or thoughts that might be bubbling up and ones that I've had myself. And so we're gonna...

cover all of those over the next few solo episodes. I'll touch on a few in this one because the first step is we need to talk about some really important mindset shifts we need to have. So when we think about living a life that we're in love with, the life that we're obsessed with, a life that we feel like, yes, this resonates with who I am as a person. Obviously, it's going to look very, very different person to person because it's your life and we're going to get into that. But the first thing we need to talk about are some of these mindset shifts because we can't even...

PJ (06:54.332)
think about the life that we want to live and take the changes and the steps towards that life until we have some very critical mindset shifts. Because the reality is that we have all grown up in an environment where we are being told things that we have taken as truths, whether or not they're actually true to us, but we've been told all of this noise, whether it be noise from your culture, noise from your society, noise from family, noise from your peer group. So the first mindset shift.

Is I want you to shift your mind into thinking and remembering that this is your life. Okay. Even if you have a family, this is still your life. You get to choose how you want it to go. And if that immediately feels selfish, I get that. But just think if you're living a life you're in love with, if you're being intentional and you have more joy and you have peace, won't that make you show up for your family in a better way? Won't that give your family permission to be themselves too?

Right? So that's the first, the first mindset shift is owning that this is your life. The second thing is I want you to start questioning things you've automatically taken as true. Has someone told you that you need to act a certain way, dress a certain way, be a certain way, have a specific career path? We have, we all have certain truths ingrained in ourselves because we've been told them our whole lives. For example, how many times...

have you been told that we're not worthy if we're not skinny? We're not worthy if we don't marry a certain person of a certain status. We're not worthy if we don't have kids. I mean, maybe someone's not specifically telling you that to your face, but isn't that ingrained truth sometimes that we hear? And so I'm here to tell you, of course, that you're worthy exactly as you are, and you're worthy of living a life that you're obsessed with. But this is really important for us to start confronting some of these truths, because even if you don't consciously believe any of this to be true,

they might still be there in your subconscious because you've repeatedly heard them in your life. And I, for example, have caught myself. When you start to become more and more aware of these truths that you hold subconsciously, you'll start realizing when they come to surface. For example, I have my Bachelorette coming up next weekend. I'm really, really excited about it.

PJ (09:12.924)
And I remember that I had this thought start to come up that I immediately caught and said, whoa, that is interesting. I didn't realize that that's how I was thinking or that's a truth that I seem to have held. But I remembered thinking, I didn't lose any weight before my bachelorette. And then my immediate.

feeling then was, okay, what am I saying? Am I saying that I'm not worthy of having a bachelorette party unless I look a certain way or I'm at a certain weight? You know, and I was able to catch that before it really took root, but just the fact that that thought bubbled up made me think that, okay, this is coming from a thing that I've always been told. You always hear about how...

women are losing weight before their bachelorette parties or before their wedding. And it kind of feels like a, a must, right? That society is telling you, you know, you see all these things about, wedding workouts or, you know, getting to look a certain way or brides talking about how much weight they lost before their wedding. And so, you know, subconsciously that obviously stuck into my brain where I'm like, okay, I can't have a bachelorette or I can't be a bride unless I.

to lose a bunch of weight, even though I'm really happy with what I look like. I'm healthy and I'm proud of the progress I've made, but it is still interesting how these truths, and again, truths are in quotes because these aren't actually truths, but it's things that we hold and we believe to be true because society holds and believes them to be true. So it's really fascinating sometimes to...

see when these are coming to surface and to be able to catch them before we actually act on them. Right. And so that was really important for me. And that's just an example I want to give you. So start questioning things you've automatically taken as truth and start recognizing when they are influencing your decisions. You know, when you're going to that, take that next step at work, really think about it and go, okay, am I taking this next step? Because this is what I'm told I'm supposed to do.

PJ (11:09.756)
Or am I taking this next step because this is what I want to do. All right. So just become really, really aware of these things that we have taken as fact, these things that we have said that, okay, this has to be the case before we can do X, Y, and Z. Because I think a lot of the time when you start to do this, you're going to realize that's actually not true at all. Or it might be true for someone else, but it might not be true for you. Okay. So I'm going to give you some examples of this. So some key mind.

mindset, I said mind shit. I really did actually say that I, you know, maybe, maybe that's some subliminal messaging there. I'm not sure, but some key mindset shifts that I have had to make is that one of the first ones is I am not my career period. Okay. And, and these examples I'm going to give you, some of them might be really relevant to you and some of them might not. And these are just examples, because like I said, you're going to need to start recognizing and questioning things that you've held as true. So one of the first ones for me was.

I am not my career period. And this is a really important mindset shift that I had to make personally because culturally as an Indian American, we tie a lot of our identity to our careers, to our professional success, because that is a lot of what the culture has dictated. And when you think about it, maybe you're an immigrant listening, you come from an immigrant family as well listening into this. You think about it, you think about why your parents moved here and they moved here to give you a better opportunities. And sometimes that...

Translates into a lot of career pressure, right? Or maybe they have maybe your family has these Career dreams for you or your culture has dictated what type of career that you should be going into so That was really important for me was to disentangle a little bit and go I am NOT my career period I am an ambitious woman. I have Goals, I have professional dreams, but I have so much more than that and that is not who I am

And if I'm in a transitional period as I'm building out my business, and I'll be very candid with you because that is really the whole point of this podcast. Like I'm always, always going to be honest with you. I, you know, I'm not making enough money yet to sustain myself. I'm dipping into my savings, you know, but I still fully, fully believe in what I'm doing, what I'm building out. And if I didn't have this mindset shift, I could be looking at myself as a failure right now, right? Or I could be getting really down on myself or I could be thinking that I am not that worthy.

PJ (13:33.308)
because I am not making a certain amount of money, but I am not my career, period. I love who I am. I really do. I think I'm a great person. I think I'm a good friend. I think I'm fun to be around, all the things. And so it is a really important mindset shift to be like, you are not your career, period. And number two, the mindset shift I had to make was I had to start questioning things. Why does it have to be that way? And this ties into what I was saying where you're questioning things you've automatically taken as true.

But I also started to question things that people said where this is, this is the process that you have to do it this certain way that for example, if you're a business owner, you have to be on social media and maybe people aren't saying that like that, but that's all of the examples that you're seeing around you. So I started questioning things and going, does it have to be that way? Do it, does it need to look a certain way? Do I need to do things the same way as everyone else? So I have just really started to question some of those things.

And the third mindset shift that I've had to make is just because I can do something doesn't mean I should do something. Right. And this goes back to being really, really intentional about how we use our time because there are so many things that we can do. Right. You can of course, you know, perform in a certain job. Maybe you have these excellent skills that are really relevant to a job, but just because you can do something doesn't mean you should do something. Doesn't bring you joy. Is it the right move for you?

Does it like, when you think about it, does it make you like your heart sing? You know what I mean? I, you know, when you like, when something's really in alignment and you feel like you're floating because it's the best possible feeling, or do you feel like you're just tired that you need extra coffee because you're not living some, you're not living a life in alignment. So just because you can do something doesn't mean you should. And of course, this isn't just relevant to your career. If you get invited to a dinner, for example, and you're free, so you can go, but.

Every time you go to dinner with this certain person, you come home and you don't feel so good. Maybe it's the way that they talk. Maybe it's that they're constantly unloading on you and you don't get a word in edgewise, whatever it may be. You, just because you can go to dinner doesn't mean you should go to dinner. Maybe you say no because you're not really getting anything out of the interaction, right? And so that's something that's a really, really important mindset shift. Just because you can do something doesn't mean that you should do something.

PJ (15:57.628)
And again, the last one, which is one we already touched on, but I want to talk about it one more time, is that remember that this is your life. You're not living your life for your culture, for the society, for your peer group, for your family. You are living your life for yourself. And by living your life the way that you want to, it's going to make you a better person and it's going to help you show up for all those people in your life in the best way possible.

And so one question that I got the other day from someone that I really want to address because it ties into that last point was someone asked me, what do you do if your family doesn't agree with what you're doing with your life or your family doesn't agree with your career choices or your personal decisions and is constantly, you know, saying things to you about it? And so what I think is really important, I think it's a really, really important question because it happens to a lot of us, myself included. And I think there's a couple of things you have to think about.

if this is happening to you. So the first one, and these are key mindset shifts as well, right? So the first one is if you have somebody in your family who's constantly saying something to you and maybe they are saying, you shouldn't be doing that, I can't believe that you're trying to go out and build your own business, whatever it may be, the two things I want you to think about. The first one is that more than likely,

Your family, especially if it's your family, they're coming from a place of love. They care about you. And so that's where this is coming from. And so first of all, kind of shifting your mindset about that, because it can feel really abrasive sometimes when someone's talking to us like that. So the first thing you want to do is say, okay, I think this person is coming from a place of love. That doesn't mean they're right by the way with what they're saying, but just, just think about it from that perspective. Okay. Maybe they're coming from a place of love. The second thing I want you to think about is that they might also be coming from a place of fear.

because the thing that you're doing might be a thing that they can't imagine themselves doing. And so they are worried for you because they're kind of scared at the concept of it and they couldn't imagine themselves doing it. And it also could be tying into that place of fear. What I was talking about before, they've had these ingrained truths. So maybe let's say it's a cultural thing where they don't want you to marry someone because that's just not what they were taught growing up, right? They have a certain truth that they have held.

PJ (18:17.468)
to be true without actually questioning it. They've just taken this belief and they've taken it at face value and they've accepted it. But you're the one who's working on yourself, right? You're the one who's saying, you know what? Nope, I'm questioning that belief, but it is important for you to understand that that's where they're coming from. So maybe it's coming from a place of fear. It's probably coming from a place of love as well. So what I want you to do when this is happening to you is take what makes sense for you. So if they say something to you and you're like, you know what that actually makes sounds great. Take that advice.

And let go of anything that doesn't serve you. Okay. And we all love our families. We all have the people that are in our lives, but if there aren't supporting us in a way that we need to be supported, I'm not saying, you know, cut off ties with anybody. That's it. That's a different topic, but find the person who will support you. Like you can still have your family love you and believe in you, but maybe you don't talk about the ins and outs of your business with them. Maybe you find someone else to talk about that who will like.

make you feel supported and lift you up. Maybe you stick to different conversations with your family. Or again, you remind them that you love them and you appreciate what they're saying, but you've got this. You've got this moving forward. There's many ways that you can approach this, but I wanted to bring up that question that I got because I think it is really, really relevant to these mindset shifts that we have to make. So what I want you to take away from this episode.

is that we can't get closer to living a life that we love, a life that we're obsessed with until we make these key mindset shifts. And these aren't going to be easy. I'm not saying that they'll happen overnight. I'm not saying that you'll confront them and you'll make these shifts and then it's one and done and you'll never have to do it again. This is going to be an ongoing process, but I want you to start becoming aware.

of the things that you've held as true because your culture has told you them, your family, your peer groups, society. And I want you to start questioning them. Do you actually believe that they're true? Do they serve you? Or are there some things that you need to let go? What are some things you maybe should be doing differently because the way you've been doing them or because someone else has told you to do it that way and they don't actually serve you? I want you to remind yourself that you're living this life for you first and foremost. And...

PJ (20:32.06)
I want you to just remember that just because you can do something, doesn't mean you should do something. I hope this episode was helpful. As always, if it was, please send me a message. You can find me on Instagram. I'm at p .s .geneja. It's always really helpful for me if I know that these episodes are resonating with you and we will continue on this theme and on these topics in the next solo episode. I love you and I'll talk to you next time.